


We Took a Hard Left, but We're Alright.

by nilshki



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23373016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilshki/pseuds/nilshki
Summary: On they're way to finding each other, Buck and Eddie find other people first.
Relationships: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)/Ana Flores, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Josh Russo/Evan "Buck" Buckley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 202





	We Took a Hard Left, but We're Alright.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this after watching 3x12 and then fussed with it and kept adding and editing until now. It gave me a lot of trouble lol. But I really wanted to explore both Buck and Eddie having more casual relationships, since their relationship with each other is anything but casual. I think it would be healthy for both of them at this stage (but I don't trust the show writers to do it right 😂).  
> EDIT: I FORGOT TO TAG MY BETA READERS OMG I'M SORRY. HUGE THANKS TO [taxingninja](https://taxingninja.tumblr.com/) and [Ran](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ran/pseuds/Ran) FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS I SERIOUSLY COULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN HALF OF THIS WITHOUT YOU GUYS  
> Title from "The Bones" by Maren Morris.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Buck smoothed his hair down one more time and checked his reflection in the mirror. He tugged down the sweater he’d put on, debated tucking it into his khaki dress pants. Decided against it.

He took out his phone and smiled as he sent the text, “ _heading out now, see you soon :)_ ” and turned to leave the station bathroom. 

“You’re looking nice,” said a voice behind him as he walked through the locker room, and he smiled again. 

“Thanks Eds.”

Eddie leaned against the doorpost and gave him a once-over. Buck tried to ignore the little thrill that ran through him. 

“Where you off to looking so put together?” Eddie asked. 

Buck smiled sheepishly and ducked his head. “I’ve, uh, got a date.” He actually felt excited about this. It had been a long time since he went out with someone that he knew he actually enjoyed talking to. Maddie and Chim’s teasing was annoying but it had gotten him thinking. It was time for him to enjoy himself with other people again, outside of his found family. 

Eddie looked surprised. “You didn’t tell me. That’s awesome man, how’d you meet them?”

Buck grinned. “You know Maddie’s friend Josh?”

“The one that got jumped like a month ago, right? Awful…” Eddie trailed off. 

Buck nodded. “Yeah, well we had been chatting for a bit before that happened and I’ve been checking in with him to make sure he’s doing okay. He’s, uh, really cool. Anyway, he’s been wary of getting back out there— understandably—so we’re gonna just go to the bar and talk and chill. See where the night takes us, you know?”

Eddie smiled. “That sounds really nice, man.” He put his hand on Buck’s shoulder and looked into his eyes. “I really hope you guys have a good time.” Buck’s heartbeat sped up as Eddie’s hand lingered a little too long before Eddie cleared his throat and moved away. Buck’s mind flitted briefly to how much he loved his best friend, but he immediately shut that train of thought down. 

His therapist always told him, “If someone likes you, they’ll let you know.” And Eddie had never said anything to indicate feelings. The pining had to stop. It wasn’t healthy for anyone. 

Buck started packing up things from his locker, getting ready to go. “How are things with _Ms. Flores_?” he teased. Eddie blushed. 

“You know very well there is nothing going on with _Christopher’s teacher_ ,” he responded. 

Buck pitched his voice to take on a whiny, mocking tone. “But you _want_ there to be something, right?”

“Shut up.” Eddie pointed a finger at Buck and put on his pretend angry face. Buck smirked. 

“You should just ask her out.”

“Don’t you have a date to get to?” 

Buck looked at his phone. “Josh is running late, call went overtime and he needs some time to get ready.” Eddie’s face shuttered a little at the mention of Josh again, but Buck ignored it. _It’s not a sign, you’re projecting_. He shrugged. “I have plenty of time to grill and torture you.” 

Eddie sighed as he grabbed his own bag and they walked out to their cars. 

“I just...” Eddie went quiet for a moment before resuming. “She’s Christopher’s teacher. Yeah, she’s cool and smart and no denying she’s attractive but it seems…weird.”

“How so?” Buck asked. Eddie shrugged. 

“First of all, it seems a little unprofessional—like I would put her in a weird position? What if she feels like she can’t say no?”

Buck shook his head. “If anything, she’s got the power here. It would be weird if she asked you because she has to be the professional one here, and you might feel like you couldn’t say no in case she took it out on your kid. It might be a little strange if you ask her out, but I don’t know if there’s anything _wrong_ with it, the way you’re thinking.”

Eddie tilted his head in thought. “Okay, fine. What if we go out, and it sucks, and then it’s awkward?”

“Okay, you can handle _awkward_ , Eddie Diaz, it’s not the end of the world.”

“What if it’s a good date but it upsets Chris?”

Buck looked confused. “You would stop dating her. You wouldn’t bring anyone into Christopher’s life that he felt uncomfortable with.”

Eddie sighed and looked up at the sky. “What if it gets serious and I really like her but it doesn't work out?”

Buck turned to his best friend and put a hand on his shoulder in a move that mirrored what Eddie did earlier. 

“Eddie. Look at me.” He waited until Eddie did. “Listen, man, relax a little. Not every relationship has to be serious. It doesn’t even have to be serious to be meaningful. You—not so long ago, might I add —had a really intense reunion and separation with your _wife_. Someone you love deeply.” He took a deep breath and made sure Eddie was still listening. “No offense man, but it fucked you up. You need something casual, but not meaningless, you know? And you genuinely like this woman, so just take it how it is and see where it goes. Try not to get caught up in the what ifs.”

Eddie smiled softly. “You’re really smart, Buckley, you know that?” 

Buck blushed and was grateful it was dark outside. “Yeah, I know,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Anyway, I’d better get going, traffic, you know.”

He patted Eddie’s shoulder and started for his Jeep. He turned to call back to Eddie, “Ask her out!”

**

Eddie sat in his truck and thought for a while. Buck was right, he knew that. He was getting hung up on the details instead of just going with the flow with Ana. The more he thought about it, the more he came to one conclusion. He really liked her. 

_Not as much as you like Buck_ , his brain helpfully supplied. But he brushed that off. _Buck_ was right, he countered. He didn’t need something serious right now. And Buck, that was serious. That would be…that _was_ real. And more than what they had would be too much for Eddie to handle right now. 

So he picked up his phone, took a deep breath, and dialed. His heart beat loudly and his palms were sweaty. It had been forever since he’d asked anyone out. 

“Hello Mr. Diaz, how are you?” was the first thing he heard. 

“Eddie, please, call me Eddie. Um, hi, Ms. Flores. I. Uh. I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time…” He dragged a hand over his face. He was so bad at this. 

“Not a problem at all. Did you have a question about the homework?” she asked pleasantly. He idly wondered what it took to be pleasant to parents all the time, even when they called you at home during random hours of the evening. 

“Um, not actually, I had a different question for you…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. He felt stupid. 

“Yes?” she questioned when he didn't say anything. 

“I was actually wondering,” He sighed. _Just spit it out Diaz_. “Would you, um, like to go for drinks sometime? With me, I mean…” God, he sounded like an idiot.

She laughed. “I figured it would be with you. Um, are you sure? After what happened with Christopher I wasn’t sure you’d be interested.”

Eddie frowned at that. “What? No, yeah, I’m sure. We’re past that.” _Which is exactly what you said to Buck about the lawsuit_. Eddie told his brain to shut up. “Anyway, I’d like to go out with you.”

“Sure, Eddie. That, uh, that sounds fun. Friday?”

He smiled to himself. “Uh, yeah. Friday works. How about nine-ish?”

“Nine-ish. Sounds good.” He thought he could hear a smile in the words and it made him giddy. 

“Uh, wait,” he said quickly, before she ended the call. “Can, um, can I text you? Details and stuff?”

“Sure, Eddie Diaz. Text me.”

She hung up. 

He grinned. 

**

Buck had forgotten how nice it was to dance with someone he knew and liked. After going to the bar where the team usually hing out and getting some food and drinks, he and Josh had gone to this gay club that Josh liked. 

Josh had his arms linked around Buck’s neck and Buck’s hands were on Josh’s waist as they moved to whatever song was playing. Josh was a pretty good dancer, and their bodies moving in sync made Buck hot all over.

Finally, they got tired and stumbled out of the club, holding hands, a little tipsy and a lot giggly. 

“That was really, really fun Buck. More fun than I’ve had in a long time.” Josh smiled up at him, and Buck’s heart skipped a beat. A small one, nothing compared to what it did around Eddie, but still. Maybe he could still feel things for other people. He squeezed Josh’s hand. 

“Hey Josh?”

“Buck?”

“I like your smile.” 

Josh blushed and looked down, but laughed. 

“Yours is nothing to sneeze at either, handsome,” he replied. 

“Can I kiss you?” Buck surprised himself a little at the question, but he meant it. 

Josh nodded and Buck leaned down. Their lips met and Buck sighed. It felt...good. Buck really liked kissing Josh. They stood there, outside the club, making out for a couple minutes. Josh pulled away first, licking his lips. 

“I, um,” Josh started. “I’m not _quite_ ready to take this back to my place? But I want you to know,” he ran a hand down Buck’s chest and Buck shivered. “I’m seriously considering it.”

Buck grinned. “We can take things slow. I want to take things slow. Do this right.” He pulled back just a little, to get a good look at Josh’s face. “I like you as a person, and I want to get to know you. I mean, I want other things too…” and Josh grinned right back at him, a knowing look in his eyes. “But I want to keep going out with you.” 

Josh leaned up for a short peck. “Good night, Buck. Let’s get dinner next time?”

“I’m free tomorrow night,” Buck called as Josh walked away. Josh laughed, and Buck smiled at the sound, put his hands in his pockets, and skipped away.

**

Eddie felt like a teenager. He was sitting in the last row of a movie theater, paying more attention to the girl next to him than to the movie on the screen. 

To be fair, there wasn’t really any other place for them to go. Ana, understandably, was hesitant about bringing people to the place where she lived alone. And Eddie didn’t feel comfortable bringing a new woman into his and Christopher’s home, especially since they hadn’t been dating very long. 

This, or the back of Eddie’s truck, was as close to private as they were going to get for the time being.

As they left the movie theater, holding hands, Eddie looked over at her and smiled. She grinned back at him. 

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

He brought their joined hands up to her mouth and kissed hers. “Just thinking how much I enjoyed that...movie.”

She laughed, wide and loud and unbridled. “Eddie Diaz, you could not tell me a single thing that happened during that movie.”

He grinned smugly and stopped walking, pulling her close. “Well that’s where you’re wrong. I could tell you lots of things that happened,” he said as he ran a hand up her back and leaned in for a kiss. 

She sighed as she kissed him back. She pulled away with a laugh. 

“Come on, I want ice cream,” she said, pulling him along. 

“You're as bad as Christopher!” he exclaimed, laughing. 

He smiled as he thought of his son, wanting ice cream after the movies despite all the popcorn he’d devoured. It reminded him of when he and Buck had taken Chris to see whatever latest kids movie Disney had released. Chris and Buck had whispered through the whole thing, downed a huge thing of popcorn, and generally drove Eddie crazy. 

“Hey Bu-” he started, before jolting. “Um, Ana.” He looked at her carefully but she hadn’t seemed to notice his slip. 

“Let’s go to that gelato place around the corner.” He'd only suggested it because for a second he’d forgotten he wasn’t with Buck, and he knew it was Buck’s favorite. But he couldn’t back out now. Especially since Ana was nodding enthusiastically. 

“I love that place! Let’s go.”

He grinned as they swung their hands and continued walking. 

And tried to figure out why, even though he was having an amazing time, he couldn’t stop thinking about his best friend. 

**

“And I’m going to play the witch, and then buy the last province, and that’s the game. Hmm Buck, wonder who won?” Josh teased as he started counting his Dominion cards. 

Buck pouted. “You know very well my strategy failed this game, you have all the provinces, of course you won!”

It was just the two of them in Josh’s kitchen, but Buck wasn’t complaining. It was pleasant and comfortable. And he got to lean over and kiss Josh any time he liked. The game had taken longer than it should, as his main strategy had been trying to distract Josh with kisses and his hand on Josh’s thigh for most of the game.

“You had a strategy? That’s news to me.” Josh grinned.

“Hey! Don’t be mean,” Buck complained. 

Josh just smiled smugly. “Help me clean up the cards and then we can go make out on the couch,” he said, gesturing to the messy table. 

“Can we just forget the cards?” Buck pouted a little and looked at Josh through his lashes. “I promise you something special if we do,” he added. 

Josh swallowed hard. “You know I can’t resist that face. Or that offer…” he trailed off, his eyes trailing over Buck’s face and body. It was Buck’s turn to be smug. 

“Hmm, that’s what I thought. Follow me, I have a good time in store for you.”

**

Eddie finally had a night off for the first time in a week, and he decided it had been a while since he’d seen his best friend. He’d thought about calling Ana and going on a date, but he missed Buck. He missed their quiet nights with beer and conversation, so he got into his truck, picked up a six-pack, and started the drive to Buck’s place. He thought about Ana on the way.

Four weeks. One month. Eddie had been seeing Ana for a whole month, and it was great. They went out on nights that he had off, going to movies or to dinner or just sitting and talking. Or, not talking. 

She’d taken him back to her place last time they’d gone out. As he drove along, Eddie remembered how they had nearly attacked each other in their hurry, tripping over themselves and barely making it to her bed. The last person he’d had sex with was Shannon. This had been different. Fun and free and unburdened by history. He’d stayed the night, Christopher safe with Pepa, and spent most of the next day in her apartment, with more sex and small touches and comfortable companionship. It was one of the most relaxing days he’s had in a long time. He’d only left when it was time to get his son from school.

He reached his destination for that night and smiled to himself as he unlocked the door to Buck’s apartment. He wanted to talk to his best friend; they both had the evening off, Chris was sleeping over at Abuela’s with Pepa, and Eddie was ready for a chill night in. 

“Hey Buck, I brought beer,” he called as he opened the door. 

He frowned a bit as he heard a muffled “ _oh shit_ ” from upstairs and some shuffling before Buck yelled, “I’ll be right down, hang on.”

He put his things on the island and turned to see Buck coming down the stairs in only underwear. 

_Fuck that’s hot_. Eddie sighed and shook his head, almost imperceptibly. His brain was really unhelpful sometimes. He needed to stop thinking about how attractive he found Buck. They were both dating other people. 

“Uh, Buck?”

Buck grinned sheepishly. “Sorry I, um. I have company.”

Eddie blushed furiously. “Shit man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in.”

Buck shook his head. “No worries, we weren’t exactly in the middle of anything, we just, weren’t dressed.” They both turned as Josh started down the stairs, dressed in only a t-shirt and underwear, looking thoroughly disheveled. 

“Hey Eddie,” he smiled. “Good to see you.”

The t-shirt hung off him a little and Eddie realized with a start that it was Buck’s. 

He tried to stop the jealousy that threatened to run through him. 

He was _mostly_ successful. He did look away when Josh came over and kissed Buck’s cheek. Not before he noticed Buck lean into it, but still. He tried. 

Eddie shifted uncomfortably. “I, uh, I’m gonna go. Leave you two to your night off.” He gestured to the door with his thumb.

“Wait, Eddie,” Buck started. “Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

Eddie forced a smile. “Just wanted to celebrate our successful dating lives, but yours is happening presently so I’m not going to intrude.”

Buck blushed but nodded and smiled. “Have a good night Eddie,” he said softly. Eddie looked between him and Josh.

“Yeah, you too.”

He opened his phone as soon as he got into the hall and scrolled through until he found the number he was looking.

“Hey, Ana. You busy tonight?”

**

Buck ignored the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach as he watched Eddie leave. He turned to grin at Josh, who had a sheepish but smug smile on his face. 

“Oops,” said Josh, and Buck shrugged. 

“No harm done, we had finished round one already,” he replied, grinning wolfishly. “I like how you look in my shirt by the way.” 

Josh smiled softly and leaned over to kiss him. “Round two?” he whispered.

Buck nodded enthusiastically and practically raced up the stairs. 

**

Eddie lay in Ana’s bed later that night, arm under his head, Ana wrapped around him. She was gently drawing random patterns on his chest, and his fingers trailed up and down her shoulder. 

“Hey Eddie?” she asked. 

He looked down at her, smiling. “What’s up?”

“Not that I’m complaining, but we weren’t supposed to meet up tonight. What changed?” She looked up at him with a questioning glance. 

His chest tightened as he thought of the jealousy that had coursed through him at Buck’s, trying to think of another answer. 

“I, uh, was a bit lonely, all by myself at home, Christopher gone. I thought I needed quiet time, but turns out I don’t handle alone very well.” _Good, that’s a good, reasonable excuse_.

“Hmm. Makes sense. I was feeling a little lonely myself. I’m glad you called.” She smiled up at him and he returned it. 

“How’s Christopher doing?” she asked, returning her head to his chest and moving it around to find a comfortable position. “He seems okay at school, pretty happy,” she added. 

His heart warmed at her words, her concern for his son. “He’s great. Buck really helped with that skateboarding incident, he had a blast that day and totally moved on. He knows he can try new things, as long as he has us to help him, for now at least. I’m so proud of him.”

“Buck helped you with that?” Her fingers stilled for a second before resuming their gentle touches. 

He nodded. “He was amazing, he enlisted Carla and they got this whole contraption that would make it easier for Chris to ride. It was amazing. He’s amazing like that. I didn’t tell you?”

She shook her head against him. “No, but I haven’t asked until now. It’s good, he seems more sure of himself at school, though I promise he’s careful and I’m paying more attention now.”

He lifted his head and looked down at her. “Hey,” he started, sitting up and bringing her with him. “I’m really sorry for yelling at you, again. I overreacted.”

She cupped his cheek. “It’s okay, you’re a parent, it makes sense. And I should have been watching him.”

Eddie shifted uncomfortably, the conversation reminding him of the one with Buck after the lawsuit. He should tell her it wasn’t her fault, but he didn’t know if he could honestly say that. A little part of him still blamed her. _Not Buck though_. _Never Buck_.

“Bygones,” was all he said. She smiled and he breathed a sigh of relief. Then she climbed over to straddle him. 

“Hey big guy. How do you feel about trying that thing I mentioned earlier?” She gave him a look that had his heart beating fast with anticipation.

“I think that’s a great idea.” 

He flipped them, making her giggle and gasp as he leaned down for a kiss, focusing on her. _Only her_. _For now_.

**

Buck settled into the couch with his two favorite boys. 

_What about Josh_? His thoughts really needed to shut up sometimes. He _liked_ Josh, a whole lot. He was glad he could feel something for someone other than Eddie. Even if these nights, with Eddie and Chris, filled his heart with joy like nothing else did. 

“What movie are we watching tonight, Chris?” he asked as he moved his arm around the boy’s shoulder. 

“Moana,” Christopher replied, grinning up at him. 

“Again?” asked Eddie, groaning but laughing.

Christopher giggled and nodded.

Buck smiled. “Yeah Eds, you know we love Moana.”

“Yeah, Daddy, you know we love Moana,” Chris echoed.

They sat watching for a little while. Eventually Chris said he needed the bathroom and they paused the movie.

Eddie and Buck day in comfortable silence, eating popcorn as they waited for him to return.

When Chris came back, Buck moved to unpause the movie.

“Wait, Buck, I have a question,” Christopher said.

Buck looked at him in surprise. “What is it, Superman?”

Chris looked at him hesitantly. “Buck, why has it been so long since our last movie night?”

Buck looked at Eddie over Christopher’s head and got only a shrug in response. 

“Uh, well buddy, I’ve been spending some time with my other friend recently.”

“Is it a special friend? Like daddy and Ms. Flores?” Christopher asked.

Eddie turned Chris toward him when Buck had no answer for that.

“How did you know about that?” Eddie questioned.

“I heard Carla and Tìa talking about it.” 

“Is that…is it okay with you, buddy?” Eddie looked distraught and Buck wished he could fix it.

Chris shrugged and didn’t say anything else, turning back to Buck. Eddie looked like he wanted to ask more but Chris started talking.

“Buck? Who is your friend?”

“He’s, well…he’s kind of my boyfriend, actually, right now.” And that was the first time Buck had called him that.

Christopher’s face turned almost…disgusted, and Buck’s heart sank.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Eddie asked.

“I don’t like that Buck has a boyfriend.”

“Christopher, we’ve talked about this, some men have boyfriends or husbands—” Eddie began.

But Christopher shook his head, cutting him off. “Duh, Daddy, I know that. I just don’t like that Buck hangs out with him instead of us.”

Buck’s heart broke at the thought of Christopher thinking he didn’t want to spend time with him. 

“Superman, I _love_ hanging out with you and with your dad. But when you’re with someone like that, you have to spend some time with them too.”

Eddie chimed in. “Buck can’t spend all his time with us. He needs to show his boyfriend how much he likes him too.”

Christopher shrugged. “So why aren’t you his boyfriend, Daddy? That way he _could_ spend all his time with us.”

Buck had no words, and Eddie didn’t seem to be in a better condition. 

“Chris, I-” Eddie started, and Buck’s heart sank, knowing what came next. _We don’t feel that way about each other_. _We’re just friends, buddy_. 

But Christopher shook his head. “Before, you guys were always together anyway.” He turned back to the television. “I want to finish the movie now.” He leaned over Buck and pressed play on the remote. Buck saw Eddie open and close his mouth a few times but then give up. 

“I’ll talk to him later,” he whispered to Buck over Christopher’s head. Buck nodded, trying to hide the hurt deep inside himself so that Eddie wouldn’t see it. 

None of them spoke for the rest of the movie. 

**

Eddie walked Buck to the door after he put Chris to bed.

“Look, man, I’m sorry about what Christopher said before—” he began but Buck shook his head. 

“Don’t worry about it. I promise, it’s okay. It’s not like…”

Eddie looked up at him, waiting for his next words.

“Well, we’re dating other people, right? Anyway, it’s not like we should date just because Chris wants us to, right...” Buck questioned.

_But I want us to also._ And that thought kind of surprised Eddie. He knew he liked Buck, he knew he was attracted to him. Knew he could fall in love if he let himself, if he hadn’t already.

But he was _happy_ dating Ana. He was having a good time. He didn’t realize how much he wanted to just— _be_ , with Buck. He opened his mouth to say something when both of their phones began to ring.

Buck looked at his first. “It’s, uh, Josh. I should take this.”

Eddie nodded and held up his own. “Ana.”

Buck nodded and turned to leave, answering the phone as he walked, “Hey babe.” Eddie’s heart clenched but he answered his own phone.

“Hi Ana. Uh, we should talk.” His stomach was tied in knots. 

“You beat me to the punch, Eddie,” she chuckled.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking,” he started, but she cut him off.

“Eddie. Babe. I have something to say first, okay?” She sounded a bit upset and he felt guilty. Did she know?

“Yeah, of course, go ahead.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot Eddie. I really like spending time with you, but I think we both know this was just temporary? I don’t feel any differently about you than I did when we started this. I care about you, I like you , but that’s all, you know?” He heard her take a deep breath and his pulse pounded. He started to say something. What, he didn’t know, but she continued before he could. 

“I want to find someone I can feel more for. And I think you’ve already found someone anyway.” He waited for more, but she said nothing else. 

“I, uh. I’m not sure what to say, Ana. Is this -- are you breaking up with me?”

She sighed. “I think I am. I want to give love a shot, and that’s not what we have. I’m past casual. I think you are too.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ana. Ana I really, _really_ like you.”

“I know Eddie.”

“But I think...I think I love Buck.” That was the first time he had said that out loud. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. “I don’t -- I hope I didn’t hurt you, Ana, or lead you on or anything?” But she just laughed. 

“Like I said Eddie, I care about you, but you didn’t hurt me. I’m pretty sure I had a feeling that this is what I was getting into when we started. I don’t blame you at all. I think this is what we both needed. But we both need it to end now.”

He sighed. “Thank you Ana. For...everything.”

“Take care, Eddie Diaz.”

**

“Can you come over? We should talk,” was all Josh would say on the phone. 

So when Buck knocked on the door, he was a little nervous. He didn’t know what Josh wanted to talk about, and it sounded serious. Josh opened it and smiled gently.

“Hi, Buck. Come on in.”

They sat down on the couch together, and Josh turned to him. He didn’t quite meet Buck’s eyes though. 

“Listen, Buck, these past few weeks have been great. Almost two months, really, that we’ve been together. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.”

Buck felt his face turn into a confused expression. “Why does it sound like there’s a but coming? Is everything okay?”

Josh ignored him and continued. He clearly had a speech prepared and wanted to get through all of it. “You’re a really good friend, Buck. And you’ve been a really good person to hang out with and hook up with, and trust me I had a _good_ time every time.” 

“But?”

Josh finally looked directly at Buck, conceding that this was a conversation, that he couldn’t just monologue. “But I’ve been thinking a lot. A _lot_. First, I think we’re only meant to be friends.”

Buck searched Josh’s eyes for clues. “You mean, not boyfriends?”

Josh nodded. “I don’t think I really want more than that with you. I’m ready to find my person, you know? And you’re amazing but you’re not him.”

Buck looked at Josh for a long moment, trying to sort through his feelings. He could recognize the sadness, the sinking in his stomach. But he wasn’t devastated. If he was honest, this wasn’t really a surprise. Josh had never felt like _more_. He sighed. “And second?”

Josh took a deep breath. “You’re not fully in this Buck.”

Buck sat up straighter at that, a bit offended, a bit panicked, a bit guilty. “Wait, wait, Josh. Listen, I’ve been committed to this-” but Josh shook his head. 

“I know you want this Buck. I know you’ve put as much of yourself into this as you can. But I think we both know there’s something you want more. Someone.” Buck looked away, not knowing what to say. 

He thought he’d been ignoring it, he thought he had control over his feelings for Eddie. He’d thought he could really make something with Josh 

“Buck, look at me. Honey...you’re in love with Eddie. You know it, I know it. The only one who might not is Eddie.”

Buck ducked his head, unable to deny it, but not wanting to hurt Josh. 

“I’m sorry.”

Josh took his hand. “No, Buck, don’t be sorry. Like I said before, I think we’re supposed to be friends. Not boyfriends. It doesn’t feel right, not as right as our friendship.” Buck nodded, and blinked back the tears that threatened. 

“But, we _are_ still friends right? I mean, Josh, I really like you, I don’t want to lose you over this.” He looked up at Josh, pleading. “We can still hang out? Go to those new places you’ve been taking me?”

Josh’s eyes widened. “Of course! I never meant...this isn’t that kind of breakup or anything. You’re a really cool guy, Buck, I love hanging out with you.”

Buck smiled. “Good. Poker night would get kind of awkward otherwise.” Josh grinned back and opened his arms for a hug.

“I love you Buck, I’m just not in love with you, okay?” he murmured into Buck’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I feel the same,” Buck replied. 

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“Only if it’s rated above PG, I need to save the kids movies for Christopher.”

Josh gave him a look but didn’t say anything else. 

**

“Tell your friends people, Evan Buckley is officially single again,” Buck announced as he walked into the station. “Unfortunately for him and fortunately for all the other hot, young singles in LA.” Hen rolled her eyes and Chimney punched his arm but laughed. 

Eddie’s heart skipped a beat. _Buck is single. Buck is single and so are you. You’re both single. Fuck. You have a shot._

Just then the bell rang, and they all scrambled for the trucks. 

When they got there, they found a blazing house fire, with a woman and boy standing outside. 

“Ma’am, is anyone else inside?” Bobby asked. 

She sobbed. “Yes, my wife and our daughter. Please, you have to help them. They were in the basement, I don’t know if they can get out. 

Bobby nodded. “We’ve got this, ma’am,” he said as he waved over Hen. “Hen, you look over these guys. Chim, you and I are gonna work on getting this fire out. Eddie, Buck, we’ll clear a path for you to get in and get the remaining people. Copy?”

“Copy, Cap,” they all chimed, and hurried to do their job. 

Eddie found himself with Buck going down the stairs, looking for the woman and her daughter. 

They found the girl first, curled up by the steps, crying and coughing. Eddie scooped her up and looked at Buck. 

“Get her out,” was all Buck said. Eddie warred with himself for half a second. He didn’t want to leave Buck, but the girl had already been here too long. 

“You’d better be right behind me, Buckley,” he said before turning and starting up the stairs. 

He brought the girl over to Hen and her mother and brother, so she could get treated and the family could be together. 

He turned back to the house, immediately noticing that Buck wasn’t back yet. His heart started beating faster and he had to breathe purposefully to stop himself from hyperventilating. 

He felt a hand on his arm and turned to see the woman next to him. “Where is my wife?” she asked, quietly. It was devastating to hear. 

Eddie felt his eyes tear up, but he pushed them back. “My partner is getting her. She’ll be fine. They both will.”

_They have to be. Buck has to be._

As Bobby and Chim got closer to getting the fire out, Eddie got more and more worried. Where was Buck, what was taking so long?

Finally, Buck stepped out through the smoke, carrying the other woman over his shoulder. The family next to Eddie cried out and Eddie had to hold them back from running to her, letting Hen and Chim work on her to bring her back to consciousness. 

They did, and the whole family immediately enveloped themselves in each other. Eddie would have been touched, if the fear and rage wasn’t building in his chest. He pulled Buck to the side. 

“Evan Buckley, _what the fuck took you so long_ ? I told you to be _right behind me_!”

Buck shook his head, panting, but thankfully not wheezing. 

“She was unresponsive behind some beams that fell. I had to move them to get her out. But it’s all good, why are you so mad, Eddie?”

Eddie grabbed Buck by the front of his jacket and dragged him closer. 

“Eddie?” Buck asked, confused when Eddie did nothing else, said nothing else.

_Fuck it._ “Because I can’t lose you, you idiot, okay?” And with that he closed the small space left between them and kissed Buck. 

It was like nothing Eddie had ever experienced before. He’d loved before, he’d been in love, but it was nothing like this. 

He never _felt_ so much from just a kiss. Never felt like his heart was going to explode, wanting it to never end. 

Buck pulled away, a dazed look on his face. “Eddie, wow that was --” He broke off, his face morphing into that adorable, confused expression. “Wait, Eddie, what about Ana?”

Eddie smiled. “We broke up, Buck.” 

Buck looked at him in shock. “But-but why?” He looked like he wanted to say more, but Eddie cut him off. 

“Mainly because I’m in love with you.”

Buck’s shocked expression didn't leave his face but his eyes were shining a little as he started to grin back. “Really?”

Eddie felt too choked up to speak, but he nodded vigorously. Buck’s smile widened, into that wholehearted happy expression that took Eddie’s breath away every time. 

“Well, in that case. I love you too.”

Eddie surged up to kiss him again. When they broke it, they stayed close, foreheads pressed together. 

“So,” Buck started. “Which of us is going to tell Christopher he was right?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Let me know what you thought!


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